I and my family have lived in a couple of dozen places. Each time we move, we have had to seek out competent professionals. These are pediatricians, doctors, mechanics, hair stylists and barbers, etc. You get the idea. Sometimes, like when we were stationed overseas or at a military installation, many of these choices were already made for us. For example, at a military installation, I had no choice but to see certain military doctors and I was assigned to a certain clinic that took care of my health needs. For my family, it depended on whether or not there were enough doctors at the military health facility to take care of them or they had to go “on the economy.”

Even going to civilian providers was constrained by TRICARE. I would say our “health insurance” but TRICARE is not health insurance. It is a benefit from laws enacted by Congress. However, it sure acts like insurance most of the time. If you use it, then you need to play by their rules.

At times, we have also had dental insurance – usually Delta Dental. We never really had to think about it much because it was either so cheap or provided without cost to us while I was on Active Duty. What we did have to consider, though, was to whom to go for dental services.

I have discovered over a lifetime of moving that not all dentists are the same. I marvel at this because we assume that all dentists have basically the same training and operate in the same manner. Let me tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.

I believe that all dentists go into the profession with high ideals about service to humanity. But after dental school, as they are building their practice, there becomes a large spectrum of services and recommendations for services.

Let me give you a quick example.

I had (past tense) a dentist in Utah that was well recommended. We had dental insurance and started going to him. I, my wife, and the dependent children that were still living with us. One time I went into him with pain in a tooth. He did x-rays and showed me with some very technologically sophisticated equipment that there was a hairline fracture in my tooth.

“We need to do an immediate root canal and give you a crown to take care of that.” He reported to me. There were no alternative treatments. I asked how much it would cost. He told me and I about choked. After I came to myself, and seeing no other options available to me to alleviate this pain, I agreed. He then went to work and I received a root canal and he made impressions for the crown which he provided to me on another visit.

Okay. So far, so good.

However, I began to notice that he was especially aggressive in his treatment recommendations. Whereas my children hadn’t had many cavities with prior dentists – or at least were not told that they had so many from prior dentists – now every time they went in there were always a couple of cavities that needed filling. I had an uneasy feeling about his treatment recommendations. At one point, he provided services to my daughter and then gave her a tube of toothpaste for sensitive teeth which he charged us $15. I went back into him and questioned his treatment recommendations and gave him back the toothpaste because I could go to Wal-Mart and get basically the same thing for 1/5th the price. “It’s prescription strength.” He countered.

So, I started looking for another dentist – at least for myself.

While this was happening, my children were getting older and no longer qualified for dental coverage under a family plan. I found myself paying $1,800 a year for “insurance” which didn’t even cover everything with the exception of one check up with x-rays each year. So, we decided to save the same premium each month and pay cash for our dental visits. That way, we could also cover our children who were still living with us.

Now, Utah has a lot of dentists and we have several who live within our neighborhood and with whom we are friends. I have purposefully not gone to any of them so as to not engender ill feelings from the other dentists whom we know. But, this time I chose to go to a friend. I wanted to go to somebody that I thought I could trust.

Not soon after my decision to quit the first dentist, I had the same pain in a tooth on the opposite side of my mouth. The pain was identical. The tooth was the mirror tooth in my mouth from the former problem tooth. Everything pointed in my mind to another root canal and crown. So, I took it to my new dentist.

He examined the x-rays and examined that tooth especially.

“So, you probably have to do a root canal and give me a crown?” I queried.

“What for?” He asked.

“Because . . .” and I explained everything that I had gone through a few years earlier with my former dentist.

“Nah” He said.

“You don’t need root canal. Just start using a toothpaste like Sensodyne or with the active ingredients that Sensodyne has in it. You should be pain free in a couple of days.”

He went on. “Your teeth actually look quite good. No cavities. No problems. See you in six months. Say Hello to your family for me.”

My jaw dropped to the floor.

I am convinced that my previous dentist would have recommended the full root canal/crown and would have received a hefty fee. While this new dentist told me that I needed to change my toothpaste.

The new toothpaste did indeed stop the pain and I use it regularly now.

Since that time, I have had about a half dozen visits with my friend dentist. Each time he says, “Things look great. No cavities. See you next time.”

Looking back on our family’s dental experiences throughout the years, I can now see clearly those dentists that were aggressive in their treatment recommendations and those that were more laissez-faire.

And, I have other experiences that validate my feelings.

As my older children have aged out of our family dental care, they have neglected their teeth. One son neglected his teeth for years and finally had so much pain that he had to do something.

When he went to a particular dentist, he came away with a huge dental treatment plan which was recommended by the dentist. It was somewhere close to $20,000.

How does anyone do that?!?

He then went to my new friend dentist and received a quite different quote.

Yes, he had some problems and they would cost about $1,000 to fix.

One twentieth of the price!

Yes, this son only had the essentials done to alleviate the pain and keep his teeth healthy. But, that is always the point, isn’t it?

So, I don’t trust many dentists until they prove themselves with me. I want an honest dentist who isn’t after profit. Who actually cares about me as a patient. I don’t want one who recommends aggressive treatments and who always seems to find a cavity or the need for a root canal.

How about you? What has been your experience with dentists? Have you had any that were aggressive or more laissez-faire?

There are so many choices out there. All dentists are not alike. Do your research and find a good one.