The other day I went to visit Carl. Carl is a good friend who actually lives right beside our house. My wife sent me over with a plate full of food for Carl. I did not think much of my visit. In fact, I was in a small hurry and – even though I live right beside him – I drove my car around to his driveway and left my car running. I did not expect to stay long.
But that was not to be. You see, Carl lives by himself. He has a little dog named Butch and two rabbits. His wife died more than a year ago. Although he lives in the basement of his daughter’s house, he rarely sees anyone. In fact, this day Carl was especially sad. He was happy to see me. But, he told me that he was ready to quit. He didn’t think that anyone cared for him in the whole wide world. I knew immediately that I needed to stay and visit. This was not going to be a rush in and rush out visit.
I became friends with Carl a couple of summers ago. One day, we could hear all sorts of banging and clanking. I looked across the fence to find an old man trying to make sense of a shed kit that he had just purchased. He was outside in his backyard trying to put it together by himself. It was painful to see him trying to figure out which piece went where. As well as trying to manhandle all the pieces of timber and plywood that came in the kit.
I ran inside and found my son, Gilbert. I told him to get dressed in work clothes and come outside with me because we had a neighbor that needed our help. So I went with Gilbert and we started helping Carl to build his shed.
Believe it or not, building the shed with Carl that summer was one of the greatest experiences in my life and in my son’s life. It felt good to be able to help Carl, and we were able to get to know him better. Gilbert and I were able to interpret the directions and with the three of us we could easily handle nailing together the studs for the walls and a roof. Gilbert was in high school than. He was strong and nimble and able to climb onto the roof in order to attach the shingles. After the shed was built, and at his own pace, Carl was able to add some flower boxes and paint the structure so that it looked like a nice little cottage. He also planted flowers and a vegetable garden.
That summer started our friendship with Carl. Every now and then, either Gilbert or I would go over just to visit and say hi. At the time of building the shed, Carl was living with his wife Dolores. Those were happy times for Carl and Dolores. But, Dolores passed away a couple of years ago. Carl has been left alone and sad ever since.
So, the other day I decided to go by to visit with Carl. There had been a funeral in our church congregation, and there was a lot of food left over from the meal that is normally prepared for the family. So I took some food over to Carl.
While there, we had the normal, “Hi, how ya doing?” small talk. Call told me he wasn’t doing so good. He was terribly lonely. He never sees anyone else. He doesn’t know how to use a computer. And he rarely gets visits from his family living upstairs. He told me that he was ready to end it all. What he implied, was that he was ready to die and ready to take his own life. He talked about needing to find a new home for Butch and his two rabbits. Once he did that, he would be prepared to go. This alarmed me as you can imagine. Then I asked him, “Now Carl? Just how old are you?” To which he replied, “In 6 ½ hours I’ll be 90 years old.” “Well, happy birthday!” I said. “What kind of ice cream do you like?” To which he replied, “I don’t really like ice cream.” Then I asked, “What kind of cake you like?” “Oh, I don’t really like cake much either.”
I was frantically going through my mind.
What to do? What to do? What to do?!
I could see that he was truly depressed and very serious. However, little did I know at the time, but we had a mutual friend named Shelley who had told Carl that he needed to be at home and available at 4 PM sharp the next day. I did not know, until I got home, that Shelley was planning a surprise birthday party for Carl. She called it “Cookies with Carl.” My wife had known about it, and was planning on attending. In fact, an email message went out to everyone in our congregation inviting them to participate in Cookies with Carl.
The next day, we went over to see Carl for Cookies with Carl. It was amazing! In his small little apartment, there must have been 30 people. Carl was beside himself. He had no idea that so many people cared about him. The change in his countenance from the day prior was remarkable.
I believe that the day prior, the day of Carl’s birthday, I was guided to visit and stay with Carl. I believe that he was truly on the verge of attempting to harm himself.
I stayed a rather long time with Carl on his birthday. Hours. It was good for me and good for him as we reminisced about things we had done together and the good times when Delores was still alive. Did I have other things that I wanted/needed to do that day? Sure thing. But, this was by far more important.
As we go about our the routine of our lives, are there people around us that could benefit from our visit? I believe that I saved a life that day. And the world is a better place because of it. By small and simple acts of kindness we can make a difference in people’s lives. Start today. Do something to let someone else know that you care.